Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Consistently Inconsistent

Last night after a long day at work, I came home to Grok who had made me a nice primal meal for dinner.  We then got comfortable on the couch to watch some downloaded shows, while browsing through our freshly-delivered Oxygen and Men’s Health magazines.  I eventually got up to change and have a little workout.

I had a good workout.  I felt good and not exhausted like some of the older workouts I used to put myself through.  But it definitely got me thinking: If I worked so hard in the past at eating clean and working out, then does my body look virtually the same that it did?  (Granted, I’m sure that internally I’m much healthier).

Last week, I went to the doctor for my annual physical.  It had been a year and a half since my last one, which would have put me at the time I started eating clean.  The doctor was enthusiastic at my weight loss, as most of her clients tend to have a weight gain year after year.  The loss: 3 pounds.  I wasn’t so enthusiastic.

A year and a half of eating clean, loads of cardio workouts, softball, volleyball, dodgeball, and lots of walks, equated to 3 pounds.  What I’m not including in the list are the long bouts of falling off the wagon - bingeing on dirty foods, drinking loads of alcohol and making excuses to not workout.

In my case, success isn’t measured by cumulative effort.  If it were, I’d be an Oxygen model.  Success is measured by consistency, and my consistency has been lacking.  This is not a grand realization on my part, I semi-knew that this was my problem.  Heck, I even quit all of my winter sports to accommodate a more routine workout schedule and balanced lifestyle (like not having to do groceries at after all my sports were done).

It sucks.  It’s hard to move beyond that feeling of defeat when you recognize that you’ve failed.  However, I’m sure I would be worse off should I not be able to reflect on the experience, and do something about it.  Every effort gets you one step closer [enter fluffy uplifting music].

My efforts weren't a complete waste - I'll admit that I learned a LOT.  I've learned about what my body needs in terms of nutrition and exercise.  I've learned many new recipe favourites, and what workouts make me come back for more.  I know that health and happiness is a lifetime journey and not a quick-fix.

Now that I know I’ve had a hard time committing to commitment in the past, I’m going to change my approach.  I can commit to finding new commitment strategies… Google is such a nice thing to help me start my search.

I look forward to reporting back on this.